Category: Humor

Grab Bag update.

First, saw Clerks 2 tonight. Best movie… ev… well, not quite, but certainly best comedy in quite a while and a truly fitting finale to the New Jersey saga.

Second, file under unclassifiable 100 Reasons Why I Hate My Husband; sad, but very funny.

Lastly, via RASSF, on MSNBC we get: Outer-space sex carries complications

Experts say new devices and data would be needed to hit the zero-G-spot

LAS VEGAS – Having sex in the weightlessness of outer space is the stuff of urban legends and romantic fantasy — but experts say that there would be definite downsides as well.

etc… it mentions briefly sex during Zero-G flights (such as on the “Vomit Comet”) – which has been done in an adult movie, Private’s The Uranus Experiment

And that’s all for today.

Colors to do personality profiling?

I ran into this a while ago, but I think it was before I was blogging. I was recently reminded by a friend of it, and thought it worth a mention.

There is an explanation at the overlying site, but the fun part is to simply go to the Colorgenics profiler itself and give it a shot.

My results for the curious:

You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition – but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point – like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people – but try to stay out of the limelight. You’d like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical – indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the ‘you’ that you would like to be – give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer – MOVE!

Hanover Keystone Kops

A tale from my Alma Mater, via DBA:
De-Sanitizing the Police Blotter

The police did not determine her error through close and careful questioning of the jogger, which would have established that she was observing 4 Valley Road, whereas she lived farther down Valley Road at another number. The police did not determine her error by noticing the absence of evidence supporting the hypothesis that this was a burglary in progress — there was no getaway car, no damage to windows or doors and no suspicious activity occurring within the house. The police did not determine her error through the application of inductive knowledge which would indicate the unlikelihood that a burglary would be in progress on a Sunday morning in a small, college town in rural New Hampshire. The police did not even establish her error by a combination of these factors. The police “quickly established” her error by laying an unannounced, intimidatory siege to our house, accompanied by screams telling me to come to the door with my hands up. They then proceeded to draw a gun on me that was menacingly pointed at my chest as I stood there in cargo shorts, t-shirt and bare feet! After further screaming and questioning, the police finally realized their mistake — 10 minutes later the officer who pulled the gun came over and apologized.

30 Things You’d Never Think to Ask (Another silly blogmeme…)

This one from Gareth’s LJ (it’s long, sorry):

30 Things You’d Never Think to Ask

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Nope, nor ever arrested. Stopped in traffic a few times, usually for something boneheaded whether I got a ticket or not.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Usually. I’ve got a touch of acrophobia, though the sensations are fun either way.

3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
I’m not sure I’ve ever been sledding. Not even using cafeteria trays, while in college.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Depends on with whom, but in general with the right company I’d rather not sleep alone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Nope. Nor souls, nor reincarnation, nor any other sort of life after death.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
No, and it frustrates me to no end since I’d very strongly LIKE to be.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
I have no idea, and thanks to the folks who put him on trial screwing up so badly, there’s no way anyone but OJ will ever know for sure.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie
Jennifer Aniston by default; I find Angelina Jolie to be one of the least sexy famous women this side of Tipper Gore. (As an aside, this same question came up in Russ Lieberman’s recent Interview in GQ –

Okay. Real quick: Jennifer or Angelina?

Jennifer? Jennifer who?

Oh, come on, Senator! Jennifer or Angelina?
Jennifer who?

Aniston. [silence] Oh, God. You don’t read the tabloids, do you?
Can I have a third choice? Can I pick Sharon Stone?

…and my own thought was “put as just Jennifer or Angelina I wouldn’t have gotten the question either.” Sharon Stone would not be my pick over Jennifer Aniston, personally but then my tastes run more to Kate Winslet or Roselyn Sanchez.

Much more after the break…
Continue reading “30 Things You’d Never Think to Ask (Another silly blogmeme…)”

Woof! Woof!

Too cute not to pass on, from the Washington Post, via RASSF:
A Bite and Bark That Saved a Life

Cellphone Chomp Called 911 for Beagle’s Owner

By Leef Smith
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, June 19, 2006; Page B01

Belle Weaver is flying into the nation’s capital today to receive an award for saving a family member’s life. Before she leaves town, she’ll meet with her congressman, accept a certificate autographed by a football great and bow her head to receive a medal.

Stories such as hers, of heroism and quick thinking, are always inspiring. But this one has a twist, and not just because Belle is 3 years old.

You see, Belle Weaver is a beagle. She used her owner’s cellphone to call 911.

Her owner, Kevin Weaver, 34, was in the throes of a diabetic seizure, lying unconscious on his kitchen floor in Ocoee, Fla., when Belle located his phone and chomped down on the keypad, triggering a call.

re: Kiss the wawa

On RASSF, Karen Lofstrom wrote:

Latest hottest Arab pop video!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4559854674036497542&q=Haifa

I’ve never seen anything like it — a music video featuring a sexy singer,
a toddler, a kitten, lots of chocolate and pink fake fur.

That was … interesting.

I was trying to figure out what the heck she was singing about, and found
this article on TNR, and this excerpt:

The shoot is for her recent single, notoriously known as the Wawa song. Supposedly, it’s meant for children–a “wawa” in Arabic is what we would call a “boo-boo” in baby talk. “See the wawa, kiss the wawa, and help it get better,” Haifa sings, dressed as various fetish archetypes like Little Red Riding Hood and a naughty schoolgirl. You don’t have to be a member of Al Qaeda to think this is a little too kinky for kindergarten. But, as I return upstairs to attend to my personal grooming and file my interview for People, I wonder if perhaps that’s exactly what all the lost boys of this lost region need: a beautiful woman with fantastic tits to kiss them where it hurts.

It answers the question of what the video was about (partially made clear by the title, in retrospect) but this was just too weird/interesting to pass on. I have no particular comment on (or endoresement of) what the author on TNR had to say (although she – Haifa – is awfully cute.)

Dartmouth was never like this back in my day…

Internet celebrity, Playboy model Jenn Sterger to lecture at Psi U

By Matthew Abbott, The Dartmouth Staff
Published on Friday, May 19, 2006

Photo courtesy of Jenn Sterger
Model Jenn Sterger, a student at Florida State University with 95 Facebook.com friends at Dartmouth, will give a half-hour presentation on her life.

Model and Internet celebrity Jenn Sterger will make an appearance at Psi Upsilon fraternity this Saturday as part of a programming event to raise money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Sterger, a fifth-year senior at Florida State University, was propelled to fame in Sept. 2005 when cameras from ABC News panned across the crowd at an FSU football game, pausing before the commercial break on a scantily-clad Sterger and two of her friends.

See also this photo:

Jenn Sterger, whose rise to fame was aided by the popular internet site Facebook.com, socializes with undergraduates and the College’s unofficial mascot, “Keggy the Keg,” on the lawn of Psi Upsilon fraternity Saturday evening. Sterger attracted a large crowd during the only day of Green Key weekend to avoid much rain.

Via DBA

For contrast, back when I was there two Dartmouth women were a the Playboy “Girls of the Ivy League” pictorial, and my recollection was despite both being fully dressed they got protested. The D described one as the “pose on a staircase reveals much of her backside and the profile of one breast” so my recollection is a little off, but *shrug*

It’s nice to see that some of the 1990s revival of puritanism has warn off…

“Cubicles: The great mistake”

Ok, breaking the streak of this having NOTHING to do with Cubicles, we get (via Google “What’s Hot” and Technorati)…

Cubicles: The great mistake
Even the designer of the cubicle thinks they were maybe a bad idea, as millions of ‘Dilberts’ would agree.

By Julie Schlosser, FORTUNE Magazine
March 22, 2006: 2:03 PM EST

NEW YORK (FORTUNE Magazine) – Robert Oppenheimer agonized over building the A-bomb. Alfred Nobel got queasy about creating dynamite. Robert Propst invented nothing so destructive. Yet before he died in 2000, he lamented his unwitting contribution to what he called “monolithic insanity.”

Propst is the father of the cubicle. More than 30 years after he unleashed it on the world, we are still trying to get out of the box. The cubicle has been called many things in its long and terrible reign. But what it has lacked in beauty and amenity, it has made up for in crabgrass-like persistence.

The article goes on to discuss the history and original concept of the “Action Office” which became the cubicle as we know and … love?… it. I’m very pleased that my present employer doesn’t use them; the open-desks layout took a little getting used to (probably about my first day), but it’s much more congenial.

The “Perils” of Progress…

Tempest in a D-cup as bust sizes grow

BEIJING (Reuters) – Bra producers have been forced to offer bigger cup-sizes in China because improved nutrition is busting all previous chest measurement records.

“It’s so different from the past when most young women would wear A- or B-cup bras,” Triumph brand saleswoman Zhang Jing told the Shanghai Daily from the Landmark Plaza of China’s commercial hub.

“You…never expect those thin women to have such nice figures if they are not plastic.”

Forwarded by several different people today.