Category: Humor

See articles on Daily KOS and AMERICAblog and more to the point, the photos.

Totally evil sexist Nate adds: Margaret Spellings looks sorta cute in the shot with the glasses, so I can understand Bush’s leer, but really… aren’t they the family values party?

From a forwarded email, original source unknown:

Joe gets up at 6am and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications is paid by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought theiremployers for paid medical insurance – now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his workday. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union member fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get workers compensation check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of a temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the country would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loan, he attended a state funded
>university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking cheese eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that the liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day and takes for granted today.

Joe agrees: We don’t need those big government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.