Category: Humor

“What about a catapult?”

From a post on a post of RASF.written:

The idea:
http://qdbii.pyoko.org/upload/catapult1.gif

The execution:
http://qdbii.pyoko.org/upload/catapult2.gif

I think this all started from a discussion some geeks were having on
Somethingawful.com. I have nothing to do with it, just thinks its pretty
good work.

They come in threes.

So I hear that Ossie Davis and Max Schmeling passed away on the radio this morning. And apparantly, John Vernon Dean Wormer from “Animal House” also just died.

Aside from the eerie coincidence that “they come in threes” actually applied this time without much of a stretch, it’s a sad loss of some quality talent.

“I do have a cause, though. It is obscenity. I’m for it.”

from GOP’s Red Light District at Oliver Willis’s Blog:

The right is investing massive amounts of money in a growth industry. Hardcore porn. How much did Jenna Jameson contribute to the Bush war chest?

linking to the not-quite-so juicy:
Will the “Moral Values” GOP Refund the Money?

The Republican Party likes to call itself the party of “moral values.” So the question is, will it return the tens of thousands of dollars it has pocketed from companies that air pornography?

As reported by the LA Times today, “Adelphia Communications Corp. has quietly become the nation’s only leading cable operator to offer the most explicit category of hard-core porn.”

According to the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, Adelphia gives the overwhelming amount of its financial support to Republicans, the party of “moral values.”

Which in turn links to GOP Corporate Donors Cash In on Smut

Shill time: Quote in subject from patter before “Smut” by Tom Lehrer, a very funny song which can be found on his album That Was the Year That WasThat Was the Year That Was

Norwegians know the truth about Bush…

Norwegians Confused by Bush Salute

OSLO, Norway – President Bush’s “Hook ’em, ‘horns” salute got lost in translation in Norway, where shocked people interpreted his hand gesture during his inauguration as a salute to Satan.

That’s what it means in the Nordics when you throw up the right hand with the index and pinky fingers raised, a gesture popular among heavy metal groups and their fans in the region.
…
For Texans, the gesture is a sign of love for the University of Texas Longhorns, whose fans are known to shout out “Hook ’em, ‘horns!” at sporting events.

I hadn’t any idea that the same sign was used for anything but the heavy metal thing, and while I’d heard the phrase “Hoom ’em horns” I’d never had any idea what the f it meant or referred to. Some UT team, as it says above? Sports fans, weird folks…

“That’s all he has, and he knows it.”

I am going to make this short but sweet: The only weapons Pres. George W Bush has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That’s all he has, and he knows it. For complete details, I refer you to my forthcoming book on the subject. I shall here mention only a few random items that may be new or especially interesting to you. For instance, it is more than a purely historical question to ask, “How did his reign of terror start?” or even the more urgent question, “How might it end?”. No, we must ask, “Why does he want to inflict more death and destruction than Genghis Khan’s hordes?” Here’s the answer, albeit in a somewhat circuitous and roundabout style: He possesses no significant intellectual skills whatsoever and has no interest in erudition. Heck, he can’t even spell or define “erudition”, much less achieve it. To deny that Pres. Bush bases his treatises on the belief that the most valuable skill one can have is to be able to lie convincingly is effrontive nonsense and political irresponsibility. It is nonsense because the horny and testy nature of his prank phone calls should indicate to us that something needs to be done. And it is irresponsible because someone has to be willing to summon up the courage to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance. Even if it’s not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people’s feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that the cure for evil is more evil.

It’s amazing how apt an automatic complaint generator can be, in this case.

See Scott Pakin’s automatic complaint-letter generator or generate one specifically about our idiot-in-chief (I don’t recommend going to the White House web page and emailing it, though.)

New “Visit America” tourist slogans

Pretty funny…

Now that the Bush administration’s mandate has been extended for another four years, President Bush has indicated that improving our image abroad will rank very high on his list of priorities. To that effect, he has commissioned the Department of Homeland Security to increase the flow of foreign tourism by adopting a catchy slogan for our country. A highly-placed source at the DHS, speaking on the condition of anonymity, confirmed the highly confidential list of options being considered at the present time.

10. Come see where your job used to live.

9. Our religious nuts only rarely kill people for violating their own particular interpretation of scripture.

8. How much weaker does the dollar need to get for you to visit? (no really, tell us)

7. Come for the loose morals, stay for the systematic erosion of civil liberties.

6. Give us your spry, your wealthy, your huddled masses yearning to buy commemorative shot glasses. And for God’s sake,
keep the Mexicans.

5. Visit America, or we’ll send our army to visit you.

4. America: Because you miss hereditary monarchies.

3. Forcing the world to adopt democracy since 1776.

2. Baby, I didn’t mean it… The CIA told me to do it.

1. America, byotch!

Sadly, this was from an unattributed forwarded email. If you know the origin of this, please let me know in the comments.

Best. Comedy… err, recently.

Ok, it’s not going to win any Oscars, but Harold Kumar Go to White Castle was a lot better than I expected, and is my favorite comedy recently – plenty of gross-out, yes, and stoner jokes that would make Cheech and Chong proud, but also real heart, likeable characters, and a fine sense of the absurd.

Rumor has it, there may be a sequel. So if you missed it in the theater, give the DVD a rent.

I also broke my long string of not making it to any films in the theater for a while (the last one was The Incredibles) by going with Marie to see Phantom of the Opera this past weekend. Overall, I thought it was pretty good… more after the break, minor SPOILERS

Continue reading “Best. Comedy… err, recently.”